By Did you often tell yourself that “I’m so dramatic, I shouldn’t be like this”, “I am too sensitive, it’s really not a big deal”, or “they were just joking, I should have a better sense of humor”? These are some examples of what self-gaslighting sounds like.
Gaslighting is a form of manipulation in which one person causes another person to self-doubt their reality and judgments which will create confusion in the victim’s mind. Gaslighting usually occurs through the creation of false narratives, the invalidation of emotions, and criticism.
If you’re wondering “why people gaslight?”- according to Stephanie Sarkis a psychotherapist specializing in gaslighting says “There are two main reasons why a gaslighter behaves as they do. It is either a planned effort to gain control and power over another person, or it is because someone was raised by a parent or parents who were gaslighters, and they learned these behaviors as a survival mechanism.”
However, what many people don’t realize is that it’s possible to self-gaslight, which caused you to question yourself, and your worth and slowly break down your confidence.
Self-gaslighting can leave you feeling confused, and isolated and it can also affect your mental health over time. This is why it’s so important to recognize the signs of self-gaslighting.
Self-Gaslighting Signs;
- You don’t believe in yourself when you feel sick.
- When something happens, you always think you are at fault and apologize often. At times like this, you may sound like “This is all my fault, I am to blame” or “this is my fault. If I hadn’t done this then they wouldn’t have treated me this way”
- When you feel like your mind and body need some rest, you don’t rest because you feel like it can slow down your progress and you feel bad to even think about resting
- You often talk rudely to yourself
- You always tell yourself the things you “should” do even though it may sometimes stress you out
- You tell yourself you’re too sensitive and get frustrated when you’re upset
- You don’t trust your own judgment or opinions, you always need help from others
- When someone disrespects or makes fun of you, you blame yourself for not having a good sense of humor or you may laugh it off
- You question your memory and you might often find yourself telling “maybe that never did happen”
- You often belittle yourself and it may sound like “others have it worse than me, so I shouldn’t feel this way”
If you recognize any of the above signs in you, please be gentle with yourself. Remember, it’s never your fault. This is a learned behavior. And this is something that you can change if you put your mind to it.
P.S. you absolutely can change your unhealthy behaviors and habits. It may take some time, but you can you will.
leave a comment below and let me know what you think about this article and other self-gaslighting signs you’ve noticed in yourself!
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Disclaimer: As the admin of the HappyHumaans community, I’m making my best effort in putting forth supportive material based on my knowledge, experience and passions as a psychology student in hopes that you can find simple ways to make your life better and brighter. We DO NOT REPLACE PROFESSIONAL THERAPY or other professional services.