You care about making other people happy without even considering your own feelings, right? That’s how almost every people pleaser be like sometimes- which isn’t a very healthy thing to do. But it’s just how we have learned to get our core emotional needs met. Did I make you feel confused? Yeah, let’s not go into psychology behind people pleasing. So, to make it simple, people pleasers constantly sacrifice themselves for little crumbs of love, affection, emotional safety, or validation from others.
To be honest, I used to be a people pleaser but thanks to my psychology degree and the tips I got to know from my lecturers, I have managed to overcome my people pleasing habits by simple following few practical steps. And, this is what made me want to write about “people pleasing” to save y’all from this daily struggle.
You may have already noticed that you are a people pleaser but keep on reading this article cause you might find out more behaviors of yours that you consider normal but actually are people-pleasing behaviors.
The first step of stop being a “people pleaser” is to understand your people pleasing actions. So, here are 7 signs you love to please others;
You find yourself agreeing with others just to make them happy
Have you ever noticed that you have difficulty saying “no” as an answer to others without giving them an excuse? It happens because you are scared of how they would react to your simple “no” and as a result you find yourself agreeing to things you don’t like or don’t want to do. And I am positive that even if you say “no” to others, you over apologize after doing so.
You hold back from sharing your opinions until others share theirs
You are scared of sharing your opinion on certain things when you are with other people. Fear of upsetting others, disagreeing with your friends/ family, or any other person can hold you back from speaking up. No matter how much this upsets you, you may stay silent rather than voicing out your opinion.
You feel like a different person around different people
Do you act differently when you’re with different people to make them like you more? You may also find it weird. Well, you are not alone in this. I also find myself acting differently when I’m with others and my brain always asks “why tf we doing this right now”. The answer is you and I, we both really crave for validation from people around us. This is also not a very healthy thing to do cause it can eventually make you feel confused about your real identity.
You crave validation/ praise from others
As I just said in the previous sign, people pleasers may go to weird extents just to get validation or praise from others. This is a very common sign of people pleasing. If you find yourself putting other people’s needs and feelings before yours, you’re doomed bestie. And you know what I am talking about. Just take a second and imagine all the hell you went through to make someone happy… yeah you’ve done that right? That’s what happens when you put others first before you.
You find it difficult to set boundaries
It can be difficult to set boundaries by saying ‘No’ because you think that people will like you less for doing so. You must have gone through so many difficulties just because of this. Although you know that you need to change, you may find it hard to do so because you are scared of letting others down.
People pleasing is really an unhealthy habit. But all unhealthy habits can be changed if we put some effort into changing them. I genuinely don’t want you to lose yourself by people pleasing. Learn to say YES TO YOURSELF more often.
Related article: 4 Practical Steps You Can Take To Stop People Pleasing
Remember, this is just a short list of people-pleasing signs. Just because there’s a sign above which you resonate doesn’t mean you’re a people pleaser. It could be you that you’re just too nice to others. But in many cases, those are some major signs of people-pleasing behavior.
I hope you find this article helpful. I loved writing this article for you 🥰
What do you think of this article? Or tell me what’s a green flag you noticed about yourself in the comment section below! 😊
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Disclaimer: As the admin of the HappyHumaans community, I’m making my best effort in putting forth supportive material based on my knowledge, experience and passions as a psychology student in hopes that you can find simple ways to make your life better and brighter. We DO NOT REPLACE PROFESSIONAL THERAPY or other professional services.