Have you ever encountered a moment where you felt like your partner tried to manipulate you to question your judgments and reality? And made you think that the way you remember things weren’t true and convinced you to believe their side of the story? These are some ways how a gaslighter might try to manipulate the other person.

Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse in relationships. Unfortunately, due to people’s lack of awareness of this situation- “gaslighting”, people usually consider gaslighting behaviors as normal behaviors of their partners. This is why it is important to be aware of what gaslighting is so that you can avoid the chances of being emotionally abused/ manipulated by a gaslighter.

Gaslighting happens through the creation of false narratives, invalidating your emotions, and groundless but intense criticism. Gaslighting can make you doubt whether your thoughts and memories are real or not real. In relationships, this happens undetected which makes things scarier.

If you’ve ever experienced gaslighting, you likely noticed that you began to doubt your judgments, opinions, memories, and your grip on reality.  As mentioned above, it is very important to be aware of forms of gaslighting in order to avoid being emotionally abused by a gaslighter.

Following Are 6 Ways In Which Gaslighting Might Occur In A Relationship.

  • Countering

A gaslighter may use countering to make you question your memory. For instance, when they use this method of gaslighting they might ask questions like, “Are you sure that happened?”, “You have a bad memory, how can you be sure?”, “No it didn’t happen, you have a bad memory”.

  • Denial

Denial occurs when your partner pretends that things didn’t happen as you remember and might accuse you of making things up. A gaslighter may say things like “No, I didn’t say such things. Why are you making things up?”, “That’s not how it happened” when denying it.

  • Withholding

If you feel like your partner is trying to refuse to engage in conversations with you and saying things like “I don’t know what you’re talking about, you’re just wasting time”, “Are you for real, where did this come from?”, “I am so confused”, they are probably using the ‘withholding’ method to gaslight your thoughts and judgments.

  • Stereotyping

Some gaslighters in relationships may use this method to manipulate the other person. For instance, in some circumstances, gaslighter may use your gender, age, race, or sexuality and could tell you that “All men have such a bad memory”, “females are known to overthink stuff”, “You’re getting old and maybe you’re losing your memory”.

  • Diverting

This form of gaslighting occurs when a gaslighter changes the focus of a discussion and questions the other person’s reliability of their statements. For example, they might say “Omg you’re imagining things”, or “I think you’re overthinking now”.

  • Trivializing

This occurs when a gaslighter belittles your or the victim’s feelings, thoughts, or whatever they say. They may accuse you of having groundless thoughts or judgments and might ask you to ignore what you’re feelings saying that “it’s not true, you’re overthinking”, “You’re being paranoid”, or “You’re crazy”.

In relationships, these forms of gaslighting may occur in different situations, and in some cases, only one of these techniques might be used. But all forms of gaslighting are equally and truly damaging and upsetting to your mental health and mental peace. 

A gentle reminder for you: “Sometimes the ones that deserve absolutely nothing are the ones you feel most compelled to give your energy to. Notice who you give your energy to”.

What do you think of this article? Share your thoughts of gaslighting in relationships in the comment section below! 😊

Want to read more about this? Check out -> 10 Signs You’re Gaslighting Yourself

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Disclaimer: As the admin of the HappyHumaans community, I’m making my best effort in putting forth supportive material based on my knowledge, experience and passions as a psychology student in hopes that you can find simple ways to make your life better and brighter. We DO NOT REPLACE PROFESSIONAL THERAPY or other professional services.

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