We’ve all been angry at some point or another. But do you know how to keep your anger in check? Pushing down anger or fighting the anger can make you feel angrier. And studies have found that repressed or uncontrolled anger can take a toll on both your mental health and your relationships. So, it is important to practice healthy skills to deal with anger.
Following are some mindfulness skills that can help you when you’re coping with anger.
Eight Healthy Things To Do When You’re Angry:
- Identify the emotion
When you feel angry, take three deep breaths, and allow yourself to feel all the emotions you’re feeling at that moment, identify the emotions and ask yourself where they stem from.
- Identify anger warning signs
We all cope and express anger in unique ways. So, make an active effort to notice the signs you experience when anger comes into you. This will help you to be prepared to cope with anger without bashing out.
- Stick with ‘I’ statements
Criticizing or placing blame on others might only increase the anger inside you. Instead, use “I” statements to express your emotions, thoughts, and opinions to deal with the problem. This skill will help you to be respectful even when you’re angry.
- Take a timeout
When you feel angry, take some time out to calm yourself down and collect your thoughts. Giving yourself time to reflect and restore calm before reacting is the key!
- Talk to a close friend
If you have a close friend who you can trust, talk to them. When you’re angry you are not in the right mind to think of anything, and you tend to see all the negatives. So, when you talk to another person, they might help you by listening to your problem, and guiding you through it. Sometimes ‘the 3rd person’s point of view’ might be super helpful.
- Once you’re calm, express your concerns
In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to say something you’ll regret later. When you’re calm, you think clearly. Try to express why you felt angry, why you feel the need to confront them about this, and what possible solutions you have to deal with the problem.
You may start your statements like, “I felt like…”, “I do not like when others…”, “I prefer to…”
- Identify possible solutions
Take a moment to list down all the possible solutions you can do to deal with the issue you have. I would suggest you list down the solutions when you are calm and collected. Because your emotions can affect your decision-making skills.
- Don’t hold a grudge
When you hold a grudge against someone, it will make you recall the past event that made you feel angry, and all the other negative emotions associated with it. According to a licensed psychotherapist Angela Buttimer, “When we hold onto grudges and resentment, it’s like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick”.
Learning how to let it out in a healthy way is difficult when you’re used to coping with anger in unhealthy ways. But this is not something impossible for you to practice. It might take some time to learn the above skills, but they will definitely help you to your mind healthy and at peace.
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Disclaimer: As the admin of the HappyHumaans community, I’m making my best effort in putting forth supportive material based on my knowledge, experience and passions as a psychology student in hopes that you can find simple ways to make your life better and brighter. We DO NOT REPLACE PROFESSIONAL THERAPY or other professional services.