The term “love language” sounds familiar, right? You probably have heard or seen this term along with the term “relationship or romance”. Recently I did a quiz to find my love language and it said; learning my love language will help me to have a good relationship with my favorite people. But I got curious whether I could use my love language to strengthen the relationship I have with myself.
So, I decided to do a little research on this matter and I found that we can indeed use our love language to love ourselves more.
Before digging into self-love languages, let me quickly tell you about where this concept came from. This concept is mentioned in a book called “The Five Love Languages” written by Dr. Gary Chapman in 1992. In that book he explains how people show love to their partners in five different ways. And they are; physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation, receiving gifts and acts of service. According to Dr. Gray, the way in which people express or receive love is different from one to another. So, it is important for someone to discover their love language to make things work!
If you still haven’t discovered your love language, go check out the official quiz of “The Five Love Languages” concept by clicking this link. And don’t forget to come back to this article to find the ways to love yourself more using your dominant love language.
Following are some tips to use your language for caring yourself- doing so will help you create more personalize and helpful self-care routine!
You need physical touch to feel loved or cared for if your dominant love language is “physical touch”. Caring for your body is the best way to show yourself more love through physical touch.
First of all, you have to figure out what type of touch you like on yourself. Following are some tips you can use to show yourself more love as a physical touch lover;
- Doing a self- pampering routine at home
- Going to the spa
- Take a good bath/ shower
- Giving yourself a hug whenever you need a one
- Giving yourself some pleasure like masturbation
If you’re someone whose love language is “quality time”, it means you love undivided attention, not only from other people but also from yourself.
To shower yourself with self-love as a person who loves “quality time”, you can try the following tips:
- Take breaks from work/ studies to do your favorite activities (even taking naps count! )
- Set time aside to do something help you slow down. – going on a little walk, meditation, resting, doing yoga, reading a book, gardening, dancing, or any activity that makes you feel relaxed.
Acts of service
If your primary love language is “acts of service”, it basically means you prefer actions over anything. So, to show yourself more love you have to do things that will make you feel loved.
“What’s the best service I can give to myself at this moment?”, “What kind of actions feed my soul and make me happy?”.- these types of questions will assist you to understand the services you need right now.
Here are a few types if your love language is “acts of service”;
- Cooking your favorite food
- Cleaning your study/ workspace
- Cleaning your bedroom
- Organizing your daily schedule before starting your day
Words of Affirmation
If your love language is “words of affirmations”, there are two important things you can do to care for yourself by using affirmations.
- Journaling- try journaling to self-affirm your beliefs every day. For instance, you could use words like “I can”, “I will”, and “I am” – these are very powerful words that can positively change your mindset and actions.
- Mouthing affirmation daily- before you start your day, take a minute and repeat some affirmations like “I am healing and I am happy”, “I am optimistic because today is a new day”, and “I am attractive”. Repeat any words or sentences you would love to hear.
if your love language is ‘receiving gifts’- you’ll have to reward yourself by buying gifts for yourself. And listen, I am not talking about expensive or impulsive shopping. You may feel like buying yourself the most beautiful and expensive gifts, will make you happy. But trust me, that happiness only lasts for a short period. However, if you buy yourself some meaningful gifts, that memory or happiness may last forever.
A few tips if your love language is Receiving Gifts;
- Buy or make yourself your favorite food!
- If you’re into reading, you can buy yourself a book
- Buy yourself some flowers
- But yourself your favorite coffee
Typically, people have one dominant love language and the rest of the love languages come afterward. It is really important to understand your love language, as it helps you realize your needs. After understanding your needs, you can create a personalized self-care routine to care and love for yourself more.